15 Steps To Be An Ungrateful Dumb-Ass

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  1. Get liver cancer
  2. Have two major surgeries to get the liver tumors removed
  3. Once your health gets back on track and you’re feeling well, start making poor decisions
  4. Get drunk several times during the month
  5. Wake up the day after a drinking binge at 1 in the afternoon
  6. As soon as you get on your feet, vomit while trying to piece together how you got home
  7. Find several pictures in your phone you don’t remember taking
  8. Check Snapchat and see all the snaps you don’t remember posting
  9. Find your pants in the shower
  10. Come to the realization you drove home drunk
  11. Waste most the day sleeping on the
  12. Spend the few waking hours of your day laying on the couch, smoking weed, eating pizza and beating off
  13. Watch The Big Short and think about ways you too can conquer the stock market
  14. Fall asleep and wake up feeling shitty on Monday morning
  15. Piss part of Monday away as well.
There you have it.  The steps to being an ungrateful dumb-ass

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