Episode 15: Violating Hipaa with KRS

KRS returns with a proper episode!  We jump off with your host Chris getting sexually harassed (for real!) and how society views harassment when its perpetrated by a women instead of a man.  Along the way we touch on Botox, having and arc-nemesis, Google getting racist and bathroom etiquette.

We close with Meditations and a quote on change – often incorrectly attributed to Charles Darwin – and the importance of fluidity in your life.

Blog: whythehellwouldyoucare.com
Twitter: @WhyTheHellBlog
Email: WhyTheHellWouldYouCare@gmail.com

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Visit our Shop!  Buy our t-shirts designed and inspired by this podcast at MassRoutine.com

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This episode sponsored by SmashDiscount.com, use promo code WTH at checkout for Free Shipping and 10% off your order. You can also support the show by clicking through our Amazon.com link when shopping.

Episode 14: Solo Missions – Back 2 Basics

Stop overcomplicating life.  As much as we all hate it, sometimes we have to break life down to the basics in order to get rid of the clutter and focus on what’s important.

Blog: whythehellwouldyoucare.com
Twitter: @WhyTheHellBlog
Email: WhyTheHellWouldYouCare@gmail.com

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Visit our Shop!  Buy our t-shirts designed and inspired by this podcast at MassRoutine.com

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This episode sponsored by SmashDiscount.com, use promo code WTH at checkout for Free Shipping and 10% off your order. You can also support the show by clicking through our Amazon.com link when shopping.

Being NakedGuy

In college I was known as Naked Guy.  Every school probably has one.   It wasn’t quite the same sentiment when I showed up to a party in college as in the clip above.

The name Naked Guy was given to me as a freshman and stuck with me all through college.  Only the biggest assholes and morons are given that moniker.  In certain circles of friends I’m still addressed by that nickname.  I cringe every time I hear someone say it.

My freshman year I found it amusing to show others my balls and occasionally whip out my cock.  I’m not packing anything too substantial in my pants, so I usually ended up embarrassing myself.  I wanted attention.  Even if it was the wrong type of attention.  It was a simple formula, cock out =’s attention.

I dated a beautiful girl from New Jersey for three years in college.  I met her hometown best friends for the first time during the second semester of our freshman year.  We were at my friend’s house for a party, playing flip cup in the basement.  Within 30 minutes of meeting them I got drunk, whipped out my balls and was placed them on the flip cup table.  Then I chased people around the basement with my junk hanging out of my pants.  My girlfriend was mortified, and rightfully so.

I wore daisy dukes with the ass cut out of them to a Halloween party my sophomore year.  They were essentially a corduroy G string.  My friends and I thought it was extremely funny.  Everyone else was puzzled as to why I was showing off my hairy ass in public.

I would pull the head of my dick out my pants and shove random objects into my peehole.  Steak knives, mulch, aspirins, keys, whatever seemed to fit.  I would do other odd shit like slam my balls or dick in a door to try and get a couple of laughs.

Once, I masturbated using a massager on my dick, while still wearing pants, until I came.  That doesn’t sound too odd until I mention this occurred in my living room in front of my roommates.  I thought it was hilarious.  I loved the shock value.  Looking back it was borderline gay.

I’m not sure what the point of this post is, other than to embarrass myself by my past actions.  I had good times as Naked Guy, or occasional Nude Dude as some liked to call me.  College is a time to find yourself.  I just happened to find myself being an asshole.

 

 

Episode 13: Freestylin’ with Samson

Before we started episode 13 we threw it all down and got lifted!  We skipped our normal format, went in without a game plan and freestyled the show to see where it would take us.  We touch on topics like dating, UDF (Upper Dick Fat), and share some of our favorite gems from Youtube for your listening pleasure.  We finish off the show by rattling off some rapid fire ShowerThoughts.  We had a lot of fun making this show, we hope you enjoy listening to it.

Blog: whythehellwouldyoucare.com
Twitter: @WhyTheHellBlog
Email: WhyTheHellWouldYouCare@gmail.com

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Visit our Shop!  Buy our t-shirts designed and inspired by this podcast at MassRoutine.com

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This episode sponsored by SmashDiscount.com, use promo code WTH at checkout for Free Shipping and 10% off your order. You can also support the show by clicking through our Amazon.com link when shopping.

Fuck You WordPress

Stress And Frustration

You cocksucking piece of shit platform.  I save a draft and you tell me “the action can’t be performed at this time.”  I lost everything I wrote over the last two hours.  Why do I constantly have to save my work in a word document to ensure I don’t lose everything I wrote when I click save? You’re a piece of shit Matt Mullwenberg, choke on a bullet.

I can hardly think straight while writing this post.  My anger and anxiety coupled with the fact I’m incredibly tired makes this all the more uncomfortable.  I want my post back.  I want to be able to re-read it, edit it and post it as I had originally intended.  I don’t want to write it all over again.

I feel like I will explode thinking about this.  The thought of trying to remember what I wrote in order to rewrite the post makes me uncomfortable to the point that I want to shout and cry.  I want to break my computer, tell everyone how unfair it is, disparage WordPress and go to sleep.  I feel drunk with rage.  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

I’ve been pissed about losing my work for hours now.  I’ve spent more time pining over losing the post and looking for ways to recover what I lost than I have trying to write a new post.  My post was well written and powerful; something people should read.  Possibly a literary masterpiece.  Well maybe not quite that good.

That’s the problem with life.  Its easier to brood and complain about what happened than it is to change it.  Taking action and making changes takes conscious effort.

My life parallels this episode.  I fight accepting what’s happened in my life.  I try to reclaim what I feel I lost:  Relationships, businesses, my identity, my size.  The list goes on ad nauseam.

I’m nostalgic.  I love going into my past.  I look for anyway possible to get back what I’ve lost instead of putting in the effort to start something new and moving forward.  Even when I know there is something better for me out there.  I’m like a child who needs to keep all of his toys, including the ones he no longer plays with.

I backtrack and try to reclaim old relationships.  I look for ways to rekindle a spark when we have proven we can’t coexist numerous times.  We can’t be happy because life throws a curve ball into our plans and we never quite recover.  We don’t put the time and effort necessary to be a happy, healthy couple.  We never work through our wreckage and heal the wounds of the past.  We only rush back into each others arms in order to quell the pain of loneliness and the of being alone.

I debate going back on steroids all the time.  I walked on the boardwalk today and looked around thinking about the looks I used to get when I was more muscular.  People would stare and make comments to me about how I looked.  Someone would always make the obnoxious comment, which they thought was hilarious, “You need to workout more pal.”  I used to complain how I hated the attention.  But obviously I didn’t hate it that much If I’m missing it today.  Regardless of the issues steroids have caused in my life I still want to use them again.

My past business venture was very lucrative.  It allowed to me have an inordinate amount of free time to spend however I chose .  I was able to travel, buy anything I wanted without thinking and I never had to work very hard.  I also had many sleepless nights, visits from various three-letter authorities and had to lie to most people about my career.  Still, I miss those days and often consider going back into that business.  I have to work hard now to make in a year what I used to make in 2-3 months.  But I no longer have to worry about going to jail.  So there are obvious trade-offs.

So why do I stray from my present and do whatever I can to get back what was lost?  Fear, comfort and laziness are the main reasons.  I’d rather deal with The evil I know versus the evil I don’t know.  It takes a lot of time and hard work to create something new.  I’m impatient and want my life to be how I remember it.  Quite often I don’t have an accurate recollection and romanticizing my past.

You can’t always recover what you’ve lost.  Sometimes you need to make a decision whether to dwell over what no longer exists or make something new.  Life is constantly changing and having to rebuild and recreate is a big part of it.   Starting from scratch is overwhelming and seems impossible at times.  However, it’s a necessity in life.  Take what you have learned, let go of the past, move on and start new.

Episode 12: Pit Beef & Police, It’s What Maryland Does

Talented musician, photographer and friend of the show Christopher Kayfield (@KayfieldMedia) joins the gang.  We jump off on St. Patrick’s Day, Baltimore, 2005 with KRS and work colleagues partaking in holiday festivities.  Shots at noon lead to a rapid downhill descent, fortunately for Chris the luck of the Irish was with him that day.

In the News from “Not the Onion” we cover the absurdity of a teenage boy being prosecuted as an adult for having naked photos… of himself, on his own phone.  This springboards into sharing our first experiences with pornography as teenagers.  The Iranian President tells American citizens to not take it personal as his people chant “Death to America.”  Chris Kayfield shares his theory on the alternative reasoning behind Donald Trump’s campaign.  We finish out the segment with ShowerThoughts and an intense debate on PED’s (Performance Enhancing Drugs) in sports as well as in the bedroom.

Meditations goes to an unusual source of inspiration, looking at a quote from Kevin Smith:  “Watch movies until you wanna make your own movie. Read books until you wanna write your own book. Imitate until you can innovate. Start now.”  This opens a discussion on sources of creativity and inspiration while finding your own voice.

This is the companion audio to Chris’s blog post: Cops Hate Pit Beef

Blog: whythehellwouldyoucare.com
Twitter: @WhyTheHellBlog
Email: WhyTheHellWouldYouCare@gmail.com

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Visit our Shop!  Buy our t-shirts designed and inspired by this podcast at MassRoutine.com

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This episode sponsored by SmashDiscount.com, use promo code WTH at checkout for Free Shipping and 10% off your order. You can also support the show by clicking through our Amazon.com link when shopping.

My First Night With Rocket Tits

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I was crashing on a friend’s couch nursing a broken ankle when Rocket Tits first entered my life.  I was essentially homeless at this point, having recently broken up with my girlfriend who kicked me out of her house.  Rocket was leaving my friend’s house after staying the night with him.  We quickly said hello to one another as she raced out the door.

A few days later we ran into each other at a local bar.  She had just gotten off work at the strip club down the street.  We flirted and she made it obvious she was interested in me.  Apparently something about a guy living on a couch who hadn’t showered, brushed his teeth or combed his hair was appealing to her.

We made plans to get together that weekend.  But first I wanted to ask my friend, who was sleeping with her at the time, if he would be upset if I took her out.  When I brought it up to him he said, “Go for it, I don’t have any papers on her.”  To this day I’m still unsure what he meant by the last part of that statement.  I could tell he wasn’t happy about her wanting to go out with me.

Looking back, it was a dick move on my part.  I mean, I literally met her moments after she had sex with him, while I was staying at his house.  But, he should have been honest and said he didn’t want me to take her out.  Had he told me the truth it would have saved me years of aggravation as well.

The weekend came and Rocket and I went out on our date.  I remember pulling up to her house in my 7 series, blaring loud music, wearing a tank top and generally looking like a giant douchebag.  She was into it though.  Later, she admitted to me that she texted her friend when she saw me pulling up and told her she was definitely going to sleep with me.

We went out to a bar, had some drinks and lots of laughs.  The two of us clicked right away.  We were all over each other most of the night.  Forcing people to watch our trashy public displays affections.

On our way back to her house I stopped at a friends house to pick up a bag of coke for myself.  I seem to have this compulsion for putting substances in my body to ensure my dick won’t work properly.

I did a few lines and we started hooking up.  Of course I was having a monumental issue trying to get a hard on.  Finally I willed my dick to get just hard enough to use.  The whole time during sex I was praying she didn’t notice my boner was slowly fading.

We went through the motions, trying a few different positions.  For some reason she kept saying things to me like “You’re gay” and “I hate you” as we had sex, which wasn’t helping me keep my erection.  I couldn’t listen to her speak anymore so I rolled her over, bent her over the bed, stood up and took her from behind. (more…)