Fuck You Dating World


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I’m not so proud to admit this, but when I’m bored, lonely or procrastinating (and I don’t feel like beating off anymore that day), I troll on dating apps.  When I feel this way, I’m not actually trying to meet anyone, I just want to feel better about myself or pass time until something more exciting happens in my life.   I jump from app to app on my phone – I have 3 or 5, I’m not certain.

I start out looking for girls I find attractive and I swipe right to see if we match .  Some days I’m on fire and I match with everyone I’m attracted too.  Today wasn’t that day.

I quickly progressed from looking for attractive women to, please, for the love of God will someone fucking match with me before I hate myself.  After 10 or so swipes right with no matches on multiple apps, I started looking at the girls a little differently.   I examined each girl and all of their pictures, trying to convince myself they were a good choice.  I sunk as low as reading their profiles trying to find something attractive about them.  I never fucking read profiles, who has time for that?  Still no matches.

As I expanded my preferences I lost more and more self-respect.  I was so desperate to feel validation and it wasn’t happening.  I was Super-Liking, asking girls about their day that had  matched with me weeks before.  I starving for attention like so many other sad sacks of shit out in the dating world.

Finally, I gave up and swiped right for everyone.  I never saw their pictures, I simply swiped.  I started counting: 46, 47, 68, 49, are you fucking kidding me? Nothing, not one single match.

I found myself angry at the Apps.  Clearly they must have a bug in them.  All of them.  It’s not me.

This went on for the better part of an hour.  I was defeated.  I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore, so I went into the kitchen and made myself some dinner.  The meal consisted of the saddest chicken you have ever seen, some kale I pulled out of the bag and stuffed directly into my mouth, then I washed it all down with a tablespoon of olive oil.

Right now I want to jump right back on my phone.  I’m a glutton for punishment.  I’d go back to my old flip phone to avoid this, but then how would I watch porn?


Ostrich Style Thinking



Get your head out of the sand.  Hiding only works with pillow forts.

Hoping and wishing isn’t a game plan or a strategy, it’s asking to lose.  You can’t hide from whats bothering you.  It’s not going to go away on it’s own.

More on this to come…..

Your Trains Off the Track – What Doesn’t Work To Catch Up in Life


There’s many reasons we fall behind. We’re sick, bored, depressed, busy with other aspects of our life.

Life has a way of kicking our asses even when we’re in a solid place mentally with our actions being consistent and congruent with what we want to accomplish.

Right now, I’m stagnant and falling further behind. I’m struggling to control my actions and emotions. I’m acting like a childish dick who lost his lunch money on taco day – What the fuck am I going to eat now!

I’m not sure why I’m in this slump. I’m uncertain of what will work to get my life back in order and on the tracks after I’ve derailed. However, I’m absolutely sure these things won’t help anyone play catch-up.

  1. Beating the shit out of yourself for being in your current position – This one is always they hardest for me to avoid. I can be very self deprecating and drive myself into a further hole with all the belittling self-talk. I have to get to a point where I say “Ok self, I’ve most likely made some really shitty decisions to get into the situation I’m in, I can’t change what’s happened, but I can work on making my future situation much more enjoyable and fruitful.” I have to stand up to myself and put the negative voices in their place in order to have the mental freedom to make progress.
  2. Rushing to get everything back together in a couple of days – This leads to more stress, aggravation and subpar output in your performance. When I rush, I end up having to redo the task down the road in order for it to be worthy of being considered complete.
  3. Forcing yourself to do the things you hate at the wrong times – Work on the things you are motivated to do at that time. If you’re forcing yourself to make sales calls when you really have the burning desire to create marketing materials, you will end up banging your head into the phone and your potential customers will sense that in your voice and tone. Prioritize your to do’s based off of what you can produce at the highest level of quality at this juncture.
  4. Continuing to remind yourself of how far behind you are – I get it! I’m not where I need to be. My life’s in shambles, I’m overwhelmed by list of to-do’s, I’m not sure what task to start with and I’m driving myself crazy over it. At this point, I need to politely tell myself to “Fuck Off” and pick ONE thing I have some motivation to do. As I work on that one item, I’m always surprised by how motivated I become to do something else. Especially when I’m really engaged and excited by the results of what I’m creating. It’s a process of moving forward; objects in motion, tend to stay in motion.
  5. Wasting time on your fucking phone – The answers you’re looking for aren’t on Facebook, Tinder, SnapChat or anywhere else on that productivity drain we call a smartphone. On numerous occasions, I’ve spent 45+ minutes sitting on the toilet (not actually going to the bathroom) checking out each social media app on my phone looking for answers and this is what I’ve found. Your news feed is full of idiots talking about shit they don’t understand, SnapChat is making you jealous of other people’s lives that appear to be much better than yours for the 10 second snap they recorded and the person your chatting with on Tinder will most likely be a giant disappointment because they don’t look like their pictures. There, I’ve just saved you an hour or more of your day by summarizing what you’re going to see every time you jump on social media. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place to enjoy all these aspects of social media, but that time isn’t right now when you’re already down and behind on your life. Forget about that shit for a while and focus on what matters, YOU!