Serenity Now!


What should you do when your mind feels blank or bound up and clogged by thoughts?   Write.  Write and don’t worry about what you’re writing.  No need to judge what comes out, worry about grammar or spellcheck as you’re doing it.

Turn off all filters and censors.  Simply put down onto paper whatever it is that pops up in your mind.  Your mind is always on no matter what.  The times when I feel empty and stifled creatively is usually when I have the most on my mind.  It’s lines and lines of code bouncing around in my head, sucking the life out of my ability to create.

With each word you write, a little more space and order is created inside your head.  Things that were frustrating and tying up your thoughts start to resolve themselves or fade away.  It’s spring cleaning for your psyche.  The more you purge the better you feel.

Getting ideas out of my head and into words causes mental and physical stress to die off.  The knots in my neck and back relax to a much more tolerable state.  It’s amazing what writing can do.

The harder it is to write, the more clutter you have in your head.  There is so much amazing content floating inside of you that you should never run out of material.

Before you know it, you may have written 500-1000 words without being aware of what you wrote.  It may not be your best material, or even good, but that’s not the point of the exercise.  It’s about freeing your thoughts and creating peace inside of you.

When I’m feeling the most stressed is when I have the the most difficulty writing.  My inner judge is telling me I have to create something amazing and worthy of sharing.  That pressure is usually too much for me, so I avoid writing all together.  That become a vicious cycle.  Every day I skip writing something, the more mind is cluttered and the my creativity is diminished.

When I’m able to write, free from censorship, the deeper the peace I feel in my life.  Writing allows me to strip away layers and bleed out toxic thoughts and feelings.  Put your thoughts on paper and read what you wrote.  It may not be a publishable work, but it may be exactly what you need to spark creativity and quiet your mind.

What’s Permission?

Stop asking for permission. If you want something, go get it.  Don’t wait for someone else to grant your permission. Give it to yourself and start moving towards what you want.

When you start out on any new journey you will most likely get beat up, tossed around and embarrassed.  That’s part of earning your permission to achieve what you want.

Doing new things has cost me time and money.  I’ve looked foolish, lost confidence and felt like a failure.  Maybe my perspective was wrong. I didn’t get the outcome I had hoped for, but I learned lessons and my life was pushed in new directions.

Remember, life’s an experiment, treat it as such.  Work hard and do something new daily.  If it doesn’t work out, it was only an experiment.  Try again tomorrow.  I understand it’s easier for me to write that kind of trite platitude than it is to actually do it in practice, that’s obvious.  But, I’m not sure how else to frame that truism.  

One thing I implore you to remind yourself when you start something new; don’t worry about the end result as much as the process.  The process is what’s most important and is the key to creating anything new.  Focusing on the process allows you to stay loose and be yourself.   Focusing on the outcome makes you rigid, creates anxiety and forces you to keep score in a binary manner with only two outcomes, success or failure.  That type of mental environment kills creativity and creates fear of taking risks.

Once you start facing new things head on, the world starts to change and opportunities open up.  Stop asking for permission or telling yourself a story of why you can’t do something.  Don’t wait for sometime to tell you that you’re ready or able to do what you want. Make the decision for yourself. There’s no one more capable of granting permission to the life you want than you.

Fuck You Dating World


Caitlyn Jenner visits The World Trade Center in New York City. Pictured: Caitlyn Jenner Ref: SPL1224161  100216   Picture by: Jackson Lee / Splash News Splash News and Pictures Los Angeles:	310-821-2666 New York:	212-619-2666 London:	870-934-2666

I’m not so proud to admit this, but when I’m bored, lonely or procrastinating (and I don’t feel like beating off anymore that day), I troll on dating apps.  When I feel this way, I’m not actually trying to meet anyone, I just want to feel better about myself or pass time until something more exciting happens in my life.   I jump from app to app on my phone – I have 3 or 5, I’m not certain.

I start out looking for girls I find attractive and I swipe right to see if we match .  Some days I’m on fire and I match with everyone I’m attracted too.  Today wasn’t that day.

I quickly progressed from looking for attractive women to, please, for the love of God will someone fucking match with me before I hate myself.  After 10 or so swipes right with no matches on multiple apps, I started looking at the girls a little differently.   I examined each girl and all of their pictures, trying to convince myself they were a good choice.  I sunk as low as reading their profiles trying to find something attractive about them.  I never fucking read profiles, who has time for that?  Still no matches.

As I expanded my preferences I lost more and more self-respect.  I was so desperate to feel validation and it wasn’t happening.  I was Super-Liking, asking girls about their day that had  matched with me weeks before.  I starving for attention like so many other sad sacks of shit out in the dating world.

Finally, I gave up and swiped right for everyone.  I never saw their pictures, I simply swiped.  I started counting: 46, 47, 68, 49, are you fucking kidding me? Nothing, not one single match.

I found myself angry at the Apps.  Clearly they must have a bug in them.  All of them.  It’s not me.

This went on for the better part of an hour.  I was defeated.  I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore, so I went into the kitchen and made myself some dinner.  The meal consisted of the saddest chicken you have ever seen, some kale I pulled out of the bag and stuffed directly into my mouth, then I washed it all down with a tablespoon of olive oil.

Right now I want to jump right back on my phone.  I’m a glutton for punishment.  I’d go back to my old flip phone to avoid this, but then how would I watch porn?


Ostrich Style Thinking



Get your head out of the sand.  Hiding only works with pillow forts.

Hoping and wishing isn’t a game plan or a strategy, it’s asking to lose.  You can’t hide from whats bothering you.  It’s not going to go away on it’s own.

More on this to come…..

15 Steps To Be An Ungrateful Dumb-Ass

head_up_ass 2

  1. Get liver cancer
  2. Have two major surgeries to get the liver tumors removed
  3. Once your health gets back on track and you’re feeling well, start making poor decisions
  4. Get drunk several times during the month
  5. Wake up the day after a drinking binge at 1 in the afternoon
  6. As soon as you get on your feet, vomit while trying to piece together how you got home
  7. Find several pictures in your phone you don’t remember taking
  8. Check Snapchat and see all the snaps you don’t remember posting
  9. Find your pants in the shower
  10. Come to the realization you drove home drunk
  11. Waste most the day sleeping on the
  12. Spend the few waking hours of your day laying on the couch, smoking weed, eating pizza and beating off
  13. Watch The Big Short and think about ways you too can conquer the stock market
  14. Fall asleep and wake up feeling shitty on Monday morning
  15. Piss part of Monday away as well.
There you have it.  The steps to being an ungrateful dumb-ass


I watched this about 25 times yesterday and probably 10 times today.  I can’t stop laughing.  This guy is hilarious.  I love his brand of ridiculously stupid humor.  I need to get him on the Podcast in 2016.  Marlon Webb, well done sir!


And My Day Is Complete….Bye Chip


As we near the end of another disappointing season, I can finally rest easily.  Chip Kelly is gone.  Philadelphia is rejoicing.  See ya Chip.  It’s unfortunate you can’t take Bradford, Kiko and Maxwell (and their bloated contracts) with you.

I said you would be the next Steve Spurrier in the NFL,but you surpassed my prediction.  Congrats.  At least he had the decency to resign and walk away apologizing for the clusterfuck he created in Washington.

You deserve a kick to the nuts for what you have done.  You make Andy Reid Look like Bill Belichick.  Rich Kotite on his Hoveround mocks your performance.  This isn’t college bro, it’s the pros.  Well sort of, because it is the NFC East, but you get what I’m saying.

You Honeydicked your way into Philly with all your offensive trickery and shitty schemes that are only effective in college.  Then you Hot Cosby our beloved team, got rid of all of our best athletes, decimated our offensive line and turned the Eagles into one of the worst teams in the NFC East.  That’s not an easy task considering how shitty the rest of the competition is in the division.  From the bottom of my heart and for every Philadelphian that bleeds green, Peace bitch!


Tinder Treasure – My Contribution To The Dating Population


It irked me.  Was I seeing her, but she wasn’t seeing me?  That can’t be right.  What type of shit is this?

I was playing on Tinder and Bumble and I started to wonder why I match with very few girls in the 18-22 year old range.  It certainly couldn’t be how I looked.  I’m hot, who wouldn’t want this?  I mean, I have a giant head, but no one’s perfect.Vegas

Then I got thinking.  Maybe the reason I don’t match with girls in my preferred age range is due to the fact the apps are showing me ALL girls who fall into the specified age range.  Instead of seeing ONLY girls in the age range I chose who want a guy my age.  Could my hypothesis be possible?  Did Tinder and Bumble not think to make age range viewing reciprocal? – It seems simple and logical that if you like girls from the ages of 20-25 and you are 35, you would only see girls from ages 20-25 who are interested in guys my age.  right? (more…)

Thought Of The Day – Go Big Or Go Home



I don’t think this picture needs much captioning.  This is a bro after my own heart.  When you get the urge to tickle a butthole, you need to scratch it.  Even if that means breaking into a house to do it.

Don’t let the man get you down bruh.  I commend you on your persistence.  I know that feeling when all you want to do is play with a butt; and sometimes stick your tongue in it.  Keep on keepin’ it real.

Note to self: Don’t set alarm tonight.