For many years my life seemed to work off feast or famine. I got nervous and felt the need to hold onto things so tightly because I feared I may never be able to create more in my life. It was as if I feel that I didn’t deserve money, happiness or women. I haven’t felt like I was enough in so many ways. I’m not smart enough, good looking enough, funny enough; so I certainly can’t ever attain what other people have. That mentality caused me to lose out on many opportunity before I even attempted them. I forced myself to be a beggar and took what I could get.
This attitude and perspective of not being enough has cost me greatly in life. I have talked myself out of getting the girl I wanted or the financial success I envisioned without ever making the attempt to go for it. The fear of failure and self doubt clouded my vision of who I really am. My jaded view of my abilities and attractiveness have been self sabotaging.
Now there has been times where the opposite is true. I have been too full of myself and cocky. I projected arrogance and a false sense of confidence. My weaknesses were exposed quickly in those cases and I had my ass handed to me.
Coming from a place of abundance isn’t about cockiness or a false sense of self esteem. It is the understanding of my capabilities and how to make them work to best suit my needs to accomplish a goal. It’s something I have done many times in my life, but never really understood what it was or what I should call it. I just always told myself I was “on a roll.” That feeling like no matter what I touched it turned to gold.
It’s the mindset that my livelihood and happiness does not have to be contingent upon a singular achievement. Whether that be a business, a woman, or a dollar figure. Being aware that there are numerous opportunities out there to create success in my life. I just have to keep trying new things and keep looking until I find what works. Then once that no longer works, either tweak it or move on to the next opportunity.
The abundance mentality is the opposite of desperate. I have allowed myself to act desperate so often in life when I did not need to. There’s been times in my life that I have had 100’s of thousands of dollars sitting in a bank account, but I chose to skip out on amazing opportunities because I didn’t want to spend $1000 to invest in me. I have had situations where multiple women were chasing after me. But I decided to keep chasing the one that it didn’t work out with time and time again because “she was the one.”
These are all acts of desperation. I was clinging onto what I had for dear life. Hoping and praying it would last or come back to me. I would squeeze every last ounce out of a person or opportunity because I feared not being able to find more. Even when the well had run dry I would keep going back, instead of focusing my efforts on new ventures that could make the future more fruitful.
So many times in life I have settled when I know I could have done better. This behavior makes me unattractive to the world. The universe senses that and it pushes opportunities away from me. The abundance mindset is the ability to value myself accurately and appropriately so that I can let go of things and people that no longer serve me in a positive manner. Because I know that I can find someone or something else that will better suit me and my needs.