When I Just Don’t Have The Words
Some days I can sit down and the words and emotions flow like Natty Light at a frat keg party. I can express exactly what I am feeling and thinking. I’m in a state of flow. Its a an amazing rush. I feel like Arnold in Pumping Iron. “Im cuming all day and night”
Then there are days like today. I feel like I’m beating my coked up dick with sandpaper. No matter how hard I try I’m going to end up with half a chubby that’s really chaffed and sore. I have a lot inside of me that I want to say, but the words just seem to escape me.
I have a vision in my mind of how my writing should look. Being hopeful my words can help others . Putting my stories and thoughts out for those who can related and are struggling to find their way. My goal is to create pieces of art that cause others to become interested in their own lives. To help them start experimenting with what works and what doesn’t. I strive to build a successful life to show others that if someone like me can do it anyone can. “Each one teach one.” Everyone has some gift they can and should share with the world.
Creativity has been a struggle throughout most of my life. Always wanting someone to give me direction on what to do with my life. Having a them lay out a solid game plan and show me the end goal. The majority of my hesitation stems form fear of trying something new and looking like a fool to others. I have struggled to be a leader. Writing allows me that creative outlet where I can take the risks. I can bare my soul in a cathartic way that forces me to face my fears. Writing builds leadership quality because only I can create with the words that are in my mind. There is no one to tell me what or how to write.
For me, its important to push forward and create when I don’t feel like it. Complacency and laziness haunt me at times. Im just getting back into writing so I need the reps and the practice. Many times I just vomit utter shit onto my computer screen that seemed like an amazing idea when I started. But I learn and I grow from the exercise. Even if what I produce may not make it onto my blog its never wasted effort. Writing always serve some purpose for my life at the time. It could be as simple as forcing me to get out of my head, or it could help me work through some of my deep seeded shit that brings me down.
I get to say some real shit that people may judge me for. Friends, family members, business partner, acquaintances may all view at me a little differently after hearing my story. The ability to be genuine and authentic is what touches and inspires others. I want my readers to feel my joy and pain. People will hopefully laugh or cringe at the dumb shit I’ve done and feel better about themselves. If Anything I have experienced and shared helps the life of others I consider it a success.