You Gonna Lick That?

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I have an affinity for eating booty.  It’s kind of like licking a dirty penny.  But I’m into it.

Does that make me a gross person?  Most of my friends feel the same way I do about butt stuff.  Maybe it’s the reason we all hang out?

Most girls I run into seem to like a little butt play – Whether it’s a finger rubbing their butthole, a tongue licking it or an occasional finger, toy or a dick up there.  90% of the women I’ve hooked up with enjoy one or some combination of these three activities.

Some girls don’t want to admit they like butt play because it makes them feel dirty, embarrassed or ashamed.  These are usually the same women who roll over, spread their cheeks and press their asses into my face from the first moment they feel my tongue enter their crack.  Deep down they know it feels good, but repress those feelings.  I think women should embrace what they enjoy without shaming themselves.  What can I say, I’m a male feminist at heart.

I hear Catholic Schoolgirls apparently only do anal because they want to remain virgins.  I don’t necessarily buy their logic, but I would never argue with them.  Where were they when I was growing up?  I’ve had to beg, plead and manipulate my way into most of my butt sex experiences.  Apparently my mom should have sent me to Catholic School.

Then there are the rare “nothing has ever been up there and no one has ever touched it” girls.  These girls drive me insane.  “I don’t like it, it feels weird.” They are so against experimenting they shut it down before they give it a chance.  Every time they clench their cheeks or tense up as I get even remotely close to their ass I can’t help but think of what George Carlin said – “Don’t be so suburban, it’s the new millennium.”  There are thousands of nerve endings in your anus, relax and enjoy it. (more…)