You Gonna Put That Up Your Nose?


The sun rise was beautiful upon the horizon.  Birds were chirping as a new day was beginning.  I stumbled out of a shitty apartment with a runny nose, cursing my life.  Hoping I would get home safely and finally get to sleep.  I repeated this routine weekly for the better part of two decades.

There’s not much worse in this world than the long nights, that stretch into the wee hours of the next morning, doing coke with a bunch of other idiots.  Sitting in someones kitchen staring at each other, waiting for someone to cut out the next line.

Over a 17 year period I did enough coke to kill Charlie Sheen.   The thing is, I’m not sure why I used so much for so long.  I hated the drug. I can’t even remember a time that I said, “Wow I’m glad I did coke, it made my night so much better.”

There’s very little worse than doing  coke.  What are the benefits?  My nose ran constantly, it ensured my dick wouldn’t work, I talked too much and I became even more twitchy.  Where do I sign up?

The worst parts of doing coke is the people you end up associating with. Cocaine will cause you to surround yourself with the shittiest degenerates imaginable.   Most of the people I did coke with were by default; they were the only ones around at 4 AM.  The sad truth is, eventually you become one of those shitty people.  I know I certainly became one rather quickly.

Coming in as the second most terrible thing about doing coke, the coked up conversation.  My God they are the worst.  I have had people ramble on for hours to me on topics like golf spikes and banking.  I can’t think of any worse torture than this.  The government should try this on it’s prisoners at GITMO.  I think they would crack after an hour. (more…)