Not this pen.

This pen.

My Sunday got high-jacked.  Pun intended.  Why do you think I spelled it wrong!?  Keep up.

It was a beautiful day outside.  I hit the gym early then made my way to the dog park.  Maddie loves the park.  I enjoy getting high and watching her play.

I brought my oil pen to the park with me.  what an ingenious invention.  I can smoke, essentially anywhere, with very little smell and it looks like I’m causally vaping.  Meanwhile, I’m getting lifted.

The problem with an oil pen is occasionally the effects are delayed.  I was puffing away at the park, not feeling phased in the least bit.  When I returned home and hour later, totally different ballgame.

I was barely functioning.  Showering took me  30 minutes.  Mainly because I kept getting sidetracked and forgetting the shower was on.  Preparing a meal wasn’t all that pleasant either.

I was baked.  I had work to do and football to watch.  But the next three hours were spent laying on my couch, playing with dating apps on my phone.  Probably not the best time to be messaging women.

I should have learned my lesson last night, which ended in a nasty incident involving a little pant shitting.  All I’m going to say is: 3 burritos, 6 tacos, a giant chocolate fudge brownie, mixed with numerous diet coke = a very uncomfortable car ride stuck in an hour of traffic.  I hit a bump in the road which jarred lose a fart that turned on me.  I felt my underwear become soiled, that and shame, lots of shame.