What’s the Point of Having Money if You Don’t Spend it


$300k sitting in a bank account; yet I was paralyzed by the thought of what I was going to do for money in the future.  I had hung up my previous career and was unsure of what was next.  I was so fearful about money that I made myself and others around me miserable.  Instead of investing in new opportunities or in myself I was living off my savings.  I held onto that money so tight that I pissed a good portion of it away.  I couldn’t get past the thought that somehow this money needed to last me forever because I would never make another dollar.

That was my situation a little over year ago.  I wasted a tremendous amount of time worrying about something so trivial and shortsighted.  Worst case scenario;  I could have lived off that money for 5-7 years depending on how I scaled my lifestyle.  That’s more than enough time to figure things out.  I could have gotten a job and made a little money until I figured out what was next for me.  Instead I did nothing but cling onto my past and the lifestyle I was accustomed to.  That behavior cost me much more than money.  It cost me time, happiness, health and some of the people in my life.

Today I’ve changed my outlook and behavior.  I’m finally starting to spend money investing in myself and my future.  It’s insane that I could spend $10k on a watch or $100k on a car without batting an eye.  But when I thought about spending a couple thousand dollars investing in bettering myself, my asshole puckered and I became incredibly stingy.  The most important thing I could possibly spend my money on made me the most uncomfortable.  I would either avoid doing them or do them in the cheapest manner possible.

When I read about or talk to successful people, the one common theme they share is that they all invest in themselves.   Whether mentally, physically or emotionally; they spend the time and money needed to make them the best at what they do.  They realize it’s an investment that will always pay dividends over time.

Success doesn’t have to equate to money.  The majority of people don’t want to be millionaire’s to be able to say they have a million dollars in the bank.  Well, some may.  Most want to be millionaires because of the lifestyle it could afford them.  The luxury of getting up in the morning and spending their day doing whatever they would like.  Not having to worry about bills and other financial obligations.

Not every millionaire lives how I described.  I know people who barely have a pot to piss in and lead much more rich, exciting lives than those with millions.  They spend their money investing in life experiences.  They travel and enjoy what the world has to offer.  I see their posts on social media and wonder how many of them afford it, knowing some make very little money.  They spend what they have to build wealth in life experiences.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t save your money.  I think everyone needs to create a financial plan and a vision of how they want their tomorrows to look.  However, The only thing we have for certain is now.  The happiest people I know don’t wait for the perfect timing to start living life.  They go out and do it.  Spend your money on what makes you happy and adds value to your life in a significant manner.  What you experience in life and the person you become as a result is what make you truly wealthy.

What I learned Last Night at the Casino

Last night I got the itch.  I was bored, no one wanted to go out and I needed to get out of the house for a bit.  I decided to take a trip to the casino.  The delusions of grandeur started flowing in my head.  I saw me there spending an action packed night of meeting new people, laughing and watching the money roll in.  Now, from my experience, the odds of my night going that route were about as likely as Klansman finding a date on blackpeoplemeet.com.  But, I went into it with a positive attitude and was ready to play some blackjack.  Don’t get me wrong I have won big before, but its been awhile.

I scoped the place out for a few minutes until I found a table I felt comfortable with.  I sat down, threw out a grand and was ready to play.  Most the night I was up and down small amounts.  I couldn’t really get traction one way or the other.  I decided to change tables.  Once I got to the new table it was all over very quickly.  I played to win, made all the right calls.  The cards just didn’t fall my way this night.  As usual the house won.  I should have just walked up to the dealer, handed him my chips, told him to kick me in the balls and been on my way.  It would have saved me some time

Normally I would be the typical loser in the casino and done one of two things.  Either I would have pulled out more money and kept losing, or I would have continuously replayed those hands over and over in my head.  Making judgment calls on what I should have done.  I would have made myself completely miserable thinking about how I should have played.  The mental and emotional hangover would have probably lasted for a couple days.  I would have shamed myself for being so stupid and wasteful with my money.  Those thoughts would have snowballed from money worries to my ex, I’m not in the shape I want to be, all the way to why I’m not where I want to be in life and just kept going.  The negativity would compound and spiral out of control quickly for two maybe three days.  All over my decision to gamble that cost me to lose a $1000.  Which a friend of mine made me feel worse about when I told him how much I lost.   He responded “You lost what my 60 hour work week makes me before taxes.”  I could have gone without hearing that.

Im not a rich man by any means, so that money could have been spent in much better ways.  The thing is its the past.  Its done and can’t be changed and I have accepted that.  That may not seem like a whole lot to some people, but for someone like me that is HUGE.  I am starting to be able to make mistakes without shaming myself.  I don’t have to place a negative value on myself because I had a little set back.  Just because I lost last night doesn’t prove my life is a constant failure.  In the past I would have allowed myself to see things that way.

Losing that money turned out to be an investment in my mental health.  Im not saying it was the best value for the investment.  Losing $100 and feeling this way would have been much better.  For someone who obsesses and allows those obsessions to turn into much larger issues I feel like this is a pretty big step in the right direction for me.  Learning how to deal with mistakes and failure without the toxic shame.  Also, I will probably stay away from the casino for awhile too.  It’s been making me its bitch for a couple months now.