San Diego bar fights, cops and a wildly awkward Craigslist foursome pop off this episode. In our second segment, Chris’s longtime friend Erik tells his story of flying to Florida to get catfished. As a bonus, learn how hot water systems work in Iceland.
We close out with our final segment, Meditations – this weeks quote by Rumi: “What you seek is seeking you.” Erik tells us his journey to becoming a jiu-jitsu competitor and teacher. You can visit his academy online at bcbjj.org.
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I was living in San Diego. My girlfriend at the time (lets call her RT) lived on the East Coast. Once a month she would come out to visit. Her and I had a really fucked up dysfunctional relationship. However, In some respects it was a whole lot of fun. At that point in our relationship sex with hookers, trolling Craigslist for threesomes and doing weird shit like blumpkins were the norm for RT and I. Also, this may come as a shocker, but I was REALLY REALLY fucked up on drugs.
Every time RT came out to visit we would look for girls that we could bring home to party with. If we didn’t find someone at the bar, or I couldn’t convince a stripper from my favorite club to come home with us we would hit the internet. Most times this would devolve into the two of us calling escorts until we reached one that actually would show up at that time of night. Sometimes what showed up was horrifying. But that didn’t ever stop us.
On this specific visit My best Friend Erik came out with RT. Literally 3 hours from the time the plane landed he and I ended up in handcuffs. We had a little altercation with a couple guys at a bar in Pacific Beach. That set the tone for their visit.
Before they came out RT and I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for a girl who was interested in a threesome. A tiny Asian girl (lets call her LA) replied to the ad. She sent pictures of herself and a description of what she was into. We set up a time to meet at her place. She told me to bring my best friend a long as well.
The three of us went over to LA’s apartment. When we arrived she had laid out a fruit and cheese plate for us and paired it with some wine. This blew my fucking mind for some reason. We made small talk and decided to hit the hot tub in her complex. LA quickly sat on Erik’s lap and started jerking him off and kissing him. RT and I were a little disappointed because we wanted her for ourselves.
When we went back into her apartment, RT went and changed back into her clothes. LA stopped RT and asked her why she was putting clothes on. At this point LA went full on turbo. She pulled my pants down and starting blowing me in front of RT and Erik. Having been in the water my dick looked rather pitiful from the shrinkage. I didn’t let that stop the show. We took a couple of steps from the living room into her bedroom. RT and LA started taking off each others clothes and feeling each other up. Erik was standing in doorway watching. That was a bit awkward and creepy because we never saw each other naked before.
I was fucking RT from behind while she was going down on LA. At this point LA invited Erik into the room and she started blowing him. It was rather uncomfortable seeing my best friends dick and his fuck faces. Finally LA decided she wanted me to fuck her while she went down on RT.
When we switched position things came to a crashing halt. Erik took a sideline view at this point. When LA noticed this she pulled her face up from RT’s pussy, looked at Erik and said “put your dick in her mouth and suck on her tits!” He had a look of horrified confusion on his face that I will never forget. Erik looked at me as if asking what to do. I threw my hands up and gave him a face of “hey whatever you want to do.” He looked at RT, immediately got very flustered and muttered “uhhhhhh we have more of high five type of relationship” then he ran out of the room.
After Erik left; LA, RT and I really stepped up our game. It turned into a full on hardcore threesome that would make Bonnie Rotten blush. Candidly, It was amazing. LA was just as nasty as RT and I combined. There was nothing she wasn’t down for. The whole ordeal was full of sweat, spit and bodily fluids. It was almost like Gilbert Gottfried’s version of the the aristocrats.
When we finally finished LA looked at us and said “I feel bad for Erik, should I go out and see if he wants to fuck me?” I was pretty certain he would say no after knowing what went down. She asked him anyway and he passed.
We were starting to get dressed and ready to leave. Then LA had one last request. She wanted to take pictures of our tattoos. Apparently that is one of her other hobbies/fetishes. Im not going to lie, for some reason having her catalog our tattoos seemed like the strangest part of the night. She took some photos and we went about our way back to my house.