I matched with this girl on Tinder. I sent her a message saying, “you have great sideboob.” It was the best thing I could think of.
Normally I don’t read profiles, but something told me I should read her’s. It was rather aggressive. She mentioned liking boobs, so I felt my opener was appropriate.
We chatted for a little bit and I gave her my number.
One night I got a text from her telling me she was sick. We made some inane small talk. The conversation wasn’t going anywhere. She lost interest quickly.
I wasn’t nearly as aggressive as I should have been. I think at one point I even asked if I could do anything for her to make her feel better. I’m sure her vagina dried up immediately.
About a week ago I noticed she added me as a friend on SnapChat. When I checked out her snap, the first thing I saw was her dancing around naked. She captioned the video, “Feed me dicks.” Apparently she’s a porn star.
I became intrigued and I googled her SnapChat username, which happens to be her porn name as well. Instantly a list of scenes she had acted in, across various genres, appeared.
At first I was relieved nothing happened. Then a wave of sadness hit me.
I started asking myself questions:
Why didn’t I pursue a fun evening with this girl? She seems like a good time.
Did I miss my window of opportunity?
Should I try to text her again, or possibly message her on SnapChat?
How didn’t I realize she was in porn?
This line of questioning lasted for a day. Then I moved on. I won’t lie, occasionally I check out her Snaps. She’s either high, partying or naked. Which is much more entertaining than most people I follow.
I guess I shouldn’t have been too shocked to find out she did porn. The “I love Bang Bros” shirt she was wearing in her profile picture should have given it away.