Sometimes I love playing the victim. I don’t realize it at the time, but that’s exactly what I am doing. I look at my circumstances or how someone has “wronged me” and I feel sorry for myself.
I vent to my friends in order to validate my own feelings. I gossip and spin my stories to manipulate the situation. I want people on my side when things go wrong so they can pick me up, tell me everything will be ok and that I deserve better. It’s all about ME and MY feelings.
I don’t want to take accountability for my part. I entered, or re-entered at times, relationships with the understanding of who these people are. Being naive enough to hope they will change or act the way I see fit.
That’s called being a volunteer victim. I see countless people playing this role every day. I despise it, it’s one of my pet peeves. I call my friends out on it every time I spot the behavior. Then I turn around and act this way myself. I’m a hypocrite.
I have lofty expectations others can’t fulfill. That’s the first problem. Placing my expectations on anyone else is setting them up for failure. Any pain and suffering I experience because of the relationship is my fault.
I invest time and emotions into people with poor track records. Knowing deep down I will ultimately be disappointed and let down. That was my choice to make. I knew better and still decided to proceed forward anyway. I can’t blame others for doing what they always do
It’s the story of The Scorpion and the Frog. The scorpion asks the frog if he can ride on his back across the river because he cannot swim. The frog asks, “How do I know that if I try to help you, you won’t try to kill me?” The scorpion assures the frog he wouldn’t do that because it would leave to his demise as well. Half way across the river the scorpion stings the frog. Before the frog dies he says, “You fool, why would you do that now we will both die.” The scorpions only response was, “I could not help myself. It is my nature.” (more…)