I have an affinity for eating booty. It’s kind of like licking a dirty penny. But I’m into it.
Does that make me a gross person? Most of my friends feel the same way I do about butt stuff. Maybe it’s the reason we all hang out?
Most girls I run into seem to like a little butt play – Whether it’s a finger rubbing their butthole, a tongue licking it or an occasional finger, toy or a dick up there. 90% of the women I’ve hooked up with enjoy one or some combination of these three activities.
Some girls don’t want to admit they like butt play because it makes them feel dirty, embarrassed or ashamed. These are usually the same women who roll over, spread their cheeks and press their asses into my face from the first moment they feel my tongue enter their crack. Deep down they know it feels good, but repress those feelings. I think women should embrace what they enjoy without shaming themselves. What can I say, I’m a male feminist at heart.
I hear Catholic Schoolgirls apparently only do anal because they want to remain virgins. I don’t necessarily buy their logic, but I would never argue with them. Where were they when I was growing up? I’ve had to beg, plead and manipulate my way into most of my butt sex experiences. Apparently my mom should have sent me to Catholic School.
Then there are the rare “nothing has ever been up there and no one has ever touched it” girls. These girls drive me insane. “I don’t like it, it feels weird.” They are so against experimenting they shut it down before they give it a chance. Every time they clench their cheeks or tense up as I get even remotely close to their ass I can’t help but think of what George Carlin said – “Don’t be so suburban, it’s the new millennium.” There are thousands of nerve endings in your anus, relax and enjoy it.
I feel it’s my job to take these repressed women and show them the wonders and majesty of butt play. I try my best to help them see the light. My mind can’t fathom not finding pleasure in the act. I continually endeavor to change their minds. Sometimes with no avail.
In fact, one girl stopped seeing me because I kept attempting to lick her ass. I took every opportunity I could find to slide my tongue in her ass, hoping she would come to her senses. Instead, she told me my repeated efforts to please her booty made her feel uncomfortable. Then she put her clothes back on and left my house. We never spoke again.
I’ve had a girl say to me, “How would you feel if I stuck my tongue in your ass.” Girl you can’t scare me with a good time! I try to talk most women into giving me a rim job. It feels good, I’m not afraid to admit I like it. I have no shame when it comes to that. Well maybe a little shame, but I’ll get over it.
I understand everyone has their likes and dislikes. Butt play may not be for everyone, but let’s not make it taboo. All I’m saying is give it a chance. Don’t let other people cast aspersions on what you may enjoy. Don’t worry about what your partner may think we he reaches his destination, that’s on him. If you worry about the hygienic nature of this practice, then bathe or clean up a little beforehand.
I promise you this, as a man I know full well the risks I take when engaging in butt play. The responsibility to deal with those risks lies firmly on my shoulders. I’m not afraid of a dingleberry on my tongue or a little poop on my finger or shaft. I know those could be real possibilities and I’m willing to take those risks.
Ladies, if your man ventures down there he needs to be accountable for what happens to him. This is not your burden to bear. It should be a legally binding agreement that if he’s going to go spelunking he deals with the possible consequences. It’s a choice to go for the booty and if he’s not man enough to handle the repercussions then he has no business exploring your backside.