Useful Bits of Advice

Confinement – Sentenced To Serve


Rules exist in our minds.  The rhetoric we have been taught for all of our lives has shaped who we’ve become.  Very few people ( including myself at times) know how to think and feel on their own.  We base our thoughts and feelings off of what society has shown us.  Unable to breakdown ideals to their most basic principles and evaluate them for what they are.  Never looking for a deeper understanding, because somewhere along the way we were taught to process events in our life as good or bad and we accepted that with certainty.

Humans have a nasty tendency to view circumstances in our world as personal.  Only taking into consideration how our live’s are effected at the present time.   However, there is a paradigm shift which starts with perspective.  We can look at occurrences as corrections or validations of our actions.  If something doesn’t work out it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad.  Instead, it could be viewed as a sign it wasn’t right for us at present or we need to change our approach.

For example, I’ve destroyed all of my intimate relationships in the past.  Yet I complain about not being able to find someone to share my life with.  I continue to look for girls in all the wrong places.  If nothing changes, nothing changes.  What didn’t work for me then, still isn’t going to work for me today.  My methods and reasoning are flawed.  It’s like trying to open your front door with the same wrong key, over and over again.  No one would ever try that, it would be insane.  It’s life’s way of telling me to try something new.

Building something new is hard.  I don’t know the outcome, so I’m apprehensive.  I’ve sought out routine and comfort, fearing the results of trying something new.  I’ve been afraid I knew better and shamed myself for trying something new only to fail.

I woke up and realized I had the “things” I wanted for so long; only to realize those “things” weren’t what gave my life meaning.  They validated my insecurities and padded my ego, but never gave me a sense of fulfillment or being whole – That can only be found by living a life you are proud of.  Filling life with as much of the content that truly feeds your soul.  Everything else will eventually lose it’s appeal.  Looks fade, cars get old and money can’t fill the voids inside.

I’ve struggled to find the type of success in the legitimate world I had being a criminal.  The truth is I haven’t worked hard enough.  I haven’t let go of who I was.  Almost daily I think about going back to my old career.  I know how it works.  It’s comfortable and lucrative.  I tell myself no matter what, I know I won’t ever starve because I know how to hustle.  I’ve rested comfortably knowing this rather than using the same type of hustle for my new life.

My life only falls short when I make it so.  Wherever I’m at in life is because of who I am and have been.  Accepting responsibility to take myself from point A to point B falls solely on my shoulders.  If I fear the hard work or the time it takes to get to where I want to be, I will most likely fail before I try.

There is no purpose or reason for life, except for what you create.  You have to find your own path and purpose.  There are no rules to the game of life anymore.  But there are precedents which have worked for others in the past.   These precedents can be your guide to where you want to go, only if you make them your own.  Otherwise you are living someone else’s life, which will make you feel like a phony.

Stop asking for permission.  Go out and do whatever it is you want to do with your life.  Don’t wait for someone else to make decisions for you or tell you that you can’t do it because you lack what it takes.  Just go out there and make it happen if you really want it bad enough.  It’s much easier said then done, but could you imagine what the world would look like if people didn’t fear taking healthy risks?

Stop apologizing for who you were.  It’s difficult.  I live with tons of guilt and shame from my past.   If I focus on my past and I allow that door to stay open, I will continue to be my past self.  I won’t grow or change because I view and treat myself as the same person.  I can’t ever be the person I want to be looking backwards.

Life’s short.  One minute we’re here, the next we are gone.  What’s the point of looking back over the years and cursing what’s happened.  It’s not going to change anything.  No matter where you are you have the ability to start on a new journey.  As difficult as it is, you can make life exciting and worth living.  Not knowing what can happen, who you will meet, where it will lead you.  Burn your boats, commit to change and don’t look back.

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