Junk Food For Your Brain

Keep On Swiping

ILLUSTRATION - Auf einem Smartphone ist am 18.02.2014 in Stuttgart (Baden-Württemberg) das Logo der App Tinder zu sehen. Photo by: Franziska Kraufmann/picture-alliance/dpa/AP Images

I was sweating and my thumbs were aching.  I couldn’t stop swiping.  It was like a horrible addiction.  I couldn’t kick that dirty bitch Tinder.  I kept telling myself to close the app.  But then I had to see who would pop up next; maybe she would be the one I needed to swipe right for.

Dating has become game.  I mean that literally not figuratively.  Swiping left or right decides the fate of who you may or may not date.  I started making games to see how many times I could swipe left before I would shut the app.  Or I would tell myself That I had to swipe right at least once for every ten girls profiles I saw.

Tinder became more about how many people I matched with rather than who the person was.  I never read their profiles.  I only based my decisions off of their pictures and physical attraction.

Every time I matched with someone I got excited.  The game stops, their pic pops up and the prompt to message them appears.  It’s like a video game.  It had so many options.  I Love having too many options.  I don’t care when someone rejects me when I have 8-10 other women as a back up plan.

Until I used Tinder in California I was convinced that only unattractive women used online dating.  The mongoloids I saw on Tinder in Philly made me never want to use this app for anything more than a drinking game.

I knew I would have some down time on my trip.  I wanted to fill that time by meeting new people, so I decided to give Tinder another try.  I couldn’t be happier that I did.  In California it amazed me the number of not only super attractive, but really cool and very open girls that were on Tinder.

Within a couple minutes of conversing on the app I could easily tell who I vibed with.  We would exchange numbers quickly and start texting.  Some of them even called me.  I hate when people call me!

Within 36 hours of using Tinder in Orange County I had a date.  We met for sushi after she got off work.  A few days later we had sex.

I went on dates with six girls from the app over a three week period.  I slept with four of them.  A pretty decent conversion rate.

I became friends with one of the girls and we still talk to this day.  I knew she was rad when she suggested we watch Big Trouble in Little China on our second date.  Later she told me that’s her A game, guys can’t resist that movie.

We were very comfortable with one another and could be open and honest about our lives and other people we were dating.  It was very refreshing. We hung out again for a night in Vegas over Memorial Day weekend.  I’m thankful I met her.  She actually told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to her on Tinder (She may have low standards.)rsz_img_8030

I’ve never connected with anyone back east the way I did in California.  Most of the people I have spoken with in Philadelphia that use Tinder have had the same experience.  The feedback I hear most is that people have an endless circle of conversation on the app and never actually meet in person.

I feel so many people could save themselves an awful lot of time being honest on Tinder.  They should say they are looking to go on a few dates and have some casual sex.  Maybe they are worried about acquaintances seeing their profiles and judging them.

There are plenty of people on Tinder who want a relationship.  Many may even find it there.  I just can’t imagine that working out for me.  Its like buying a shitty used car from a sketchy salesman.  It may look good and run nice, but you know something is bound to go wrong because there’s a lot of issues under the hood.  Then again I may be short sighted and have no idea what I am talking about.

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