Sometimes I’m embarrassed for myself. Why do I share what I do? How can I tell people how fucked up I am? What will they think? Who am I to tell people anything?
I do it for me, no one else. Sharing my issues opens up my wounds. Allowing me to inspect them and process what’s happened. Giving me the ability to grow and heal.
Once I put it out there in front of everyone, no matter how embarrassing it may be, it rarely hurts anymore. No one can find out my secrets and use them against me. I already owned them. I have the opportunity to correct some of my mistakes and move on with my life. Possibly helping others do the same.
We find strength and power in other people we didn’t know we had. Some of my favorite writers bleed in their writing. I want to bleed too. They expose the sides of themselves that aren’t so pretty. Sometimes it’s downright ugly.
I’ve seen people post their pain in hope of finding help or peace. Not seeking attention, as some may think. Asking for help is a sign of strength. I find power in that. Sometimes I don’t even realize what I’ve read or heard has helped me until many hours later. It’s selfish, but true. I’m OK with being selfish in this regard.
When I’m not scared or embarrassed to share my thoughts I know it usually won’t be as good as when I am. It lacks a sense of rawness. When I write something and I think to myself, “this is gold”, it tends to be garbage and not well received. It’s usually trite nonsense anyone can put into words and show to the world. I’m not risking anything or taking chances, I’m playing it safe.
Usually its a bullshit attempt at motivation without any real emotion. I’m grabbing at straws talking about something I don’t have a lot of real experience with. I’m being phony. There’s nothing I despise more than people who discuss what they have little knowledge of.
I hate hearing people spout nonsense like, “if you work hard all your dreams will come true.” It may give you a better chance at reaching your goals, however, it doesn’t make it gospel or factual. These ridiculous platitudes put people to sleep
As we get older we get bogged down being an adult, losing our curiosity and the willingness to fall and get cuts and bruises. We continually conform and fear adventure. We don’t know how to dream big or use our imagination because we need to be “grounded” and take care of our responsibilities.
We develop judgments and bias towards those who have lofty ambitions that we feel they can never achieve. Our own insecurities spill out onto others because we fear going after what we want. We almost root for their failures. It’s one of the worst character traits I see in myself and others.
Be uncomfortable. Anything you’re scared of try. Bleed all over every chance you get. When we were children we fell, skinned our knees and got right back up. We learned what worked and what didn’t. Be as curious as you were as a child. As someone told me today “stop trying to control everything in your life, just go with the flow.”