Evil Empire

I fucking hate Apple more than ever before. I constantly have problems with my iPhone. I’m not the easiest on electronics, so I have to take some accountability for the issues. Also, because of Apple I have a business.  But none of that is any fun to talk about and gets in the way of my rant.

My phone has been losing service a couple times a day for the last 2 weeks. The status at the top shows “Searching” and I can’t make calls or use my phone unless I’m on WiFi. Today it finally shit out on me for the whole day.

I dread going to the Apple Store to ask the smug, hipster jack offs who work there for help. I’d rather watch Lena Dunham do naked jumping jacks in front of me for the rest of eternity.  But today I have no choice.

I jumped in my car and headed over to the Apple Store. It’s in this uppity white neighborhood that always packed with rich soccer moms and and their shitty, spoiled kids. Doesn’t anyone fucking work?  I judge all of them.  Forgetting the fact I should working as well, but I’m here being just another asshole in this store.

I knew I wasn’t going to get service right away. I coached myself on the way over to relax and not freak out the instant I walked in the door. You get more flies with honey. And in the grand scheme of life it’s a minor inconvenience. By the time I finally found parking and entered the store all that shit was out the window.

I walked up to the guy working there with a sense of entitlement that my problems were more important than anyone else’s.  The first guy seemed like he was going to be helpful. Unfortunately he directed me to his colleague, who looked like a slightly more stoned version of Kendrick Lamar and I was informed I would have to wait at least an hour and a half.  I felt my chest inflate, my hands clinch and my jaw tighten. When I pointed out the fact there were plenty of employees standing around doing nothing, he didn’t flinch and calmly told me many of them are sales people not technicians.  Fuck me, right? (more…)

Tinder Treasure – My Contribution To The Dating Population

tinderdump

It irked me.  Was I seeing her, but she wasn’t seeing me?  That can’t be right.  What type of shit is this?

I was playing on Tinder and Bumble and I started to wonder why I match with very few girls in the 18-22 year old range.  It certainly couldn’t be how I looked.  I’m hot, who wouldn’t want this?  I mean, I have a giant head, but no one’s perfect.Vegas

Then I got thinking.  Maybe the reason I don’t match with girls in my preferred age range is due to the fact the apps are showing me ALL girls who fall into the specified age range.  Instead of seeing ONLY girls in the age range I chose who want a guy my age.  Could my hypothesis be possible?  Did Tinder and Bumble not think to make age range viewing reciprocal? – It seems simple and logical that if you like girls from the ages of 20-25 and you are 35, you would only see girls from ages 20-25 who are interested in guys my age.  right? (more…)