I woke up exhausted, still trying to recover from my Thursday night, which ended at 6:30 Friday morning. I didn’t want to get out of bed and face everything I had to do today.
My day has been riddled with expectations and assumptions. I’ve been agitated all day by the littlest things. My mind is running wild with fear and aggravation.
This morning I went to visit the job site for a rehab I am financing. The drive took far longer than I had anticipated. There was traffic, cars moving slowly on single lane road and I seemed to hit every red light. By the time I got to the site I was annoyed. I met with my friend who is doing the rehab, only to find the lockbox holding the key to the house was stuck shut. He tried repeatedly to open it with no avail. We were locked out.
Since he will be replacing the windows, he broke one and we climbed in like cat burglars. During our walk through I wasn’t exactly impressed with the progress. I was having trouble envisioning how the finished product would look. I had expected to see a greater amount of work done on the property.
This was the first time I saw the house since the rehab began. I haven’t been asking for updates, nor have I looked at the project schedule. I had nothing to base progress off of except my own unspoken expectations. If I had been more involved with the project and the work schedule I might be able to assess if things are on track or not.
Once my expectations came into play my mind immediately became filled with negative thoughts. I second guessed my investment, “Why did I get myself involved in this?” Will I get my investment back? I pictured the worst case scenario playing out.
I took that same mindset with me to the gym. My mind kept me from pushing myself and having the workout I wanted. It wasn’t a bad workout, but it didn’t quite meet the expectation I had in my head. My arms didn’t get the pump I thought I usually get. I couldn’t push the weight I normally use. Whether or not any of this was reality I’m not sure. But my mind sold the idea to me and made me believe it.
A friend of mine text me to say hello and see how my day was going. Her replies weren’t fast enough for my liking. I was annoyed. Why would she text me in the first place if she didn’t want to have a conversation? I made assumptions about her reasons that drove me crazy. (more…)