Need a Spot Bro?

You’d think hearing the words “they all just want to suck your dick” would be greatest thing anyone has ever said to you.  But not on this day.

I was 26 at the time and started working out at a new gym in Philly.  I quickly became friends with a bunch of guys there.  One guy in particular, I would see almost daily.  We would bullshit every time I saw him and we became close (Fast forward a couple years later and he would actually save my life).

I remember he was supposed to meet me and some friends at a bar one night, but had to bail. I told him “that was gay” and he should “stop being a fag”.  That’s how I talked to my guy friends at 26. Sometimes I still talk to them that way, I’m a heathen and a relic, I know.

Eventually he asked me to stop calling him gay and fag. I laughed thinking he was being overly sensitive.  A few weeks later I found out he actually was gay. I was very surprised at first, but got over it quickly.  He was actually more shocked when I figured it out and asked him about It. He wanted to know who told me and he danced around the issue at first.  I didn’t give a fuck, he was my friend.  See how accepting I am?

I never spent too much time around gay people before, so unless it was blatantly obvious, I was oblivious to the fact.  As he got more comfortable with me knowing his sexual orientation he introduced me to all kinds of fun new phrases like big chaser and power bottom.

Finally one day he let me in on a little secret. Almost all of the Guys I was friendly with at my gym were gay too.  Then proceeded to tell me they weren’t my friends but they were interested in me.  He could have been fucking with me to see me reaction, but I felt sad.  All this time I thought I was making friends, it turns out they wanted to have sex with me.

I was so confused, and a little hurt I suppose.  I guess I found of what it was like to be a woman for once in my life.  Thinking all of these people were nice to you because their your friend, when really they just wanted your ass.

I’m not the type of straight guy who thinks all gay men want him or anything ridiculous and delusional like that.  I’m not that much of a troglodyte.  I’m secure in who I am and realize most people understand boundaries if you set them correctly.  But I found out how naive and ignorant I was to the world around me.  Guess I probably still am.

And My Day Is Complete….Bye Chip


As we near the end of another disappointing season, I can finally rest easily.  Chip Kelly is gone.  Philadelphia is rejoicing.  See ya Chip.  It’s unfortunate you can’t take Bradford, Kiko and Maxwell (and their bloated contracts) with you.

I said you would be the next Steve Spurrier in the NFL,but you surpassed my prediction.  Congrats.  At least he had the decency to resign and walk away apologizing for the clusterfuck he created in Washington.

You deserve a kick to the nuts for what you have done.  You make Andy Reid Look like Bill Belichick.  Rich Kotite on his Hoveround mocks your performance.  This isn’t college bro, it’s the pros.  Well sort of, because it is the NFC East, but you get what I’m saying.

You Honeydicked your way into Philly with all your offensive trickery and shitty schemes that are only effective in college.  Then you Hot Cosby our beloved team, got rid of all of our best athletes, decimated our offensive line and turned the Eagles into one of the worst teams in the NFC East.  That’s not an easy task considering how shitty the rest of the competition is in the division.  From the bottom of my heart and for every Philadelphian that bleeds green, Peace bitch!


What I Learned Inside A Dark, Wet Box


I’m terribly claustrophobic and the thought of closing myself in that box made me nauseous.  I’ve wanted to try a sensory deprivation float for months. Today I decided to make it happen.

For the last two weeks I’ve been struggling with back and shoulder pain as well as lack of focus and energy.  From what I’ve read, floating could help alleviate some of my issues.  Studies have shown the benefits to be:

  • mood enhancement
  • mental concentration
  • higher energy levels
  • better sleep
  • stress reduction
  • pain relief
  • increased muscle recovery

I took some magnesium an hour before my appointment to calm my mind and help with anxiety.  But when I saw the tank I was sure I was going to have a panic attack if I closed the hatch while I was inside.    I figured turning the lights off would make it dark enough for me. (more…)

I Need to Dry Out


My body and mind feel like mush.   I’m mentally and physically drained.  I think I may be getting an ulcer again.  But I’ve been having the best times.

That’s the crossroads of my life right now.  At 35, finding the work hard/play hard balance is an onerous experiment.  Moderation is not my best virtue.  I walk a very fine line between no play and overindulgence.  It’s a constant battle of checks and balances.

Summer time in Philly means pool parties, the shore and multitude of social events.  The spring and summer are my favorite times of the year.  Once it starts getting cold my Seasonal Affect Disorder kicks in and I want to hibernate.

I’ve been investing my time going out, being social and meeting new people. I have become more of an introvert over the past couple years.  Being comfortable allowing others into my life and growing my social circle is important to me.

However, I’m starting to tip the line of being a bad adult.  At times I am completely irresponsible.   For instance, last weekend I had planned to stay in Friday night.  I was relaxing on my couch trying to fall asleep when a friend texted me and asked me meet him for a cheesesteak.  It sounded completely innocuous so I obliged.  Next thing I knew it was 7 AM and I was pulling back up to my house. (more…)