How I Sabotaged my day
Waking up a bit hungover, after only getting four hours of sleep, wasn’t the best start to my Monday. Sunday had been a good night. Lots of laughs, a couple drinks, good company and it ended with the best blow job I have gotten in years. All and all not a bad night.
I rolled around in bed for a good hour trying to fall back asleep before I made the executive decision to get up. I had no plan for my day. No goals or to do list. I knew I needed to workout, take my dog to the park, read and write. But I was shooting in the dark without any real structure.
I ate breakfast and tried to write for an hour before I went to gym. I was quickly thrown off course when I checked the price of gold and saw it had skyrocketed. I invest in some ETF’s based off of golds movement. I checked my Sharebuilder account to see how much I had lost on paper. Then I rechecked my account every two minutes for the next hour. My OCD got the best of me.
Once I pulled myself out of obsessing over lost money I tried to write again. I stared at my computer screen for about 5 minutes and decided to hit them gym. I had already wasted most of my morning and was antsy to get moving. Although my workout was subpar, I was happy I took care of one item on my mental check list.
Then came the texts! One after the next from friends of mine complaining about issues they’re having in their lives. Being the amazing, problem solving, self-indulgent friend that I am, I quickly doled out advice I knew none of them would follow. Once again proving that I am the center of my own little universe and people need me to survive.
Then I had the nerve to get annoyed with my friends because they kept texting me for hours. I could have stopped replying. I even went as far as to text other people and tell them my day had the life drained out of it from everyone complaining to me about their lives. Hypocrisy at its finest.
After I ate dinner I started reading. I kept thinking about how much more I should have accomplished earlier in the day. That thought process ate up more of my time wasting energy focusing on the past and what I should have done than actually reading.
By the time I got around to writing it was late. I was already half checked out. I started making a post, but I couldn’t get any traction. So I moved to the next logical step. I went on Facebook made a post babbling about the riots in Baltimore and called it a night.
This is how easily I can sabotage my day when I have no structure and my mind isn’t primed first thing in the morning. I can waste 24 hours getting as little possible as done. All while giving myself enough excuses not hate myself too much for flushing a day down the toilet.
Even though I love writing and it makes me happy, I seem to love masturbation more. I’m rarely disappointed when I finish masturbating. Plus I always know the outcome and it takes much less effort. With writing, sometimes I turn out junk that’s completely unusable and it takes me quite a long time. Advantage, masturbation.