I feel like I’m going to explode with excitement as I grind toward my goals. Then I get there and I think, whats next? This seems to be the theme of my life on many levels. Especially when it comes to women and getting laid. Once I actually get them in bed I’m usually not that into it or them. My pink cloud disappears quickly. I came, I conquered. No pun intended.
I go through phases when I am trying to achieve goals in my life. They are all marked with there ups and downs. They are usually pretty easy for identify due to the characteristic I portray in each phase. For instance when I am trying to get a women I usually go through 6 phases:
- Introductory Phase – We meet – I’m super excited and cant wait to talk to her. We text all day.
- Dating Phase – We go out on 1-2 dates. I get I start getting to know her or who she is trying to portray.
- Get Her In Bed Phase – This is exactly as it sounds. After a date or two I get her home and we do our thing. If I really like her and think she has potential, I try to extend this for at least 3-4 dates. This holds my interest in her longer.
- The Numb Phase – This phase begins a few seconds to minutes after I start having sex with her. I question why I am even doing this. Sometimes I question my very existence. It gets even worse once I cum
- The Awkward Phase – Once I have finished and we are laying next to each other my mind starts to race. I don’t want to really be touched at this point. Cuddling makes this phase much worse. I wonder what shes thinking. I also wonder when shes leaving.
- The Insecure Phase – This phase is all about my curiosity of what she’s thinking about. Was she pleased? Will this be a repeat customer? My mind starts going to “I probably could have done better” or “I should have done this or that.” I say things to the girl that make the situation much more awkward than it needs to be. It’s obvious to the woman I am insecure; and most likely also an asshole.
The first time I sleep with someone tends to be a bit awkward. I’m feeling the person out. Trying to figure out what she likes and doesn’t like. What limits can I push? Often I hold back because I’m not quite sure shes into certain things; like a finger in her butt.
I never used to care or think about this type of stuff when I was younger. #YOLO. I just wanted to get mine. Now my ego comes into play. I want to be a sexual dynamo. If she said or didn’t say certain things during sex I over-think it.
I wonder why she said or didn’t say certain things about my body or my dick?’ Did she not like it? Weren’t they enough? Was my stroke off? What happened?
The Insecure Phase is in full force at this point. I get in my head and over-analyze the situation. I start to act desperate. I create a much more awkward situation because I don’t feel I got the praise I so justly deserved. Even if she told me how great it was and she got off I start digging for more. I want compliments damn it! I want to make sure Ill get a second chance so I can really show her my A game.
This type of insecure insanity is what has kept me from enjoying my success in life. I always want more. I used to love the phrase “never enough.” Being comfortable with myself and going with the flow is very difficult for me at times. I love to control and manipulate situations.
After I achieve a goal, a better approach would be to change my mindset to one of happiness and relaxation. Slow things down and take the time to reflect on what has occurred and enjoy the moment. Then build upon that moment predicated on real facts. Not the craziness I brew in my mind. Life becomes a lot better when I am able to take that advice. I mean after all I just got laid, how bad could life really be??